Let's start with a relatively innocent one, this full body wrap. Someone explain to me please where's the fun when all the good stuff is wrapped up so tidy you can't fucking get to it?Also, there's something slightly necropheliac about this doncha think. Or maybe it's a Harry Houdini fetish?
Still, how does this translate to fun sex?
This one is just funny. A humping toy for your dog. Why did they make it look like an alien though?
Humping toy for kinky pets? ~pulling dog off leg:
"no Princess, you need to hump Precious over there, not my leg."
Fitting dog onto toy....~
I wonder if it rolls... that could be hours of fun to watch.
Apparently everyone else has heard of the Baby Jesus Buttplug.
Well, I hadn't and my "ewww" factor went sailing.
If i don't want Jebus in my life, why would i want him up my ass?
I wouldn't want a Prez. Bush buttplug either. Just saying. ~shudder~
For the just too fucking weird to describe we have this gas mask dildo thing.Just looking at it gives me the willies.
And I'm told i'm ridiculously openminded...
I can't imagine what it makes normal people think when they first see this number.
Anyone have a clue the why or how or wtf with this item?
And now the sex toy for the Moron.
A dicksucker that plugs into your car's lighter.
Uh-huh.
A critical travel item for all road trips.
Test your control while driving and orgasming.
The prefect gift for the irresponsible idiot in your family.
Now i confess that I have given a blowjob to my BF of the moment before while he was driving... but certain precautions were used and i always stopped when i felt the car swerve. I mean - duh.
There's a whole lot more where these came from.
Check 'em out at
http://www.cracked.com/article_16032_25-most-disturbing-sex-toys.html
27 comments:
as much as I drive!
and the stress!
i'm just sayin
OMG, A baby jesus but plug? the humping toy is funny though.
Put wheels on that humping toy, hahahah, hours of fun, the world of kink is a strange and wonderful place to peek into but I'm glad I don't live there,
Oh my gosh...those are crazy! Well, that doggy one was pretty funny. My dog used to hump a pillow on my bed. It was fine until one day I noticed a wet spot. Can we say Ewww all together?!
That black mask thing though...seriously disturbing. Seriously.
I'm with you...I don't get it. At all.
You might as well have the virgin mary turned into a vibrator while you're at it.
What about female dogs?
What about female dogs that are lesbian, like mine?
You can actually scratch all of those off my list ...
And more good news, I figured it out, by pushing the little orange speaker button next to your address up above i managed to become fully subscribed to your wonderful blog, so now i wont miss a thing, yayayayayayayayayay
We need to find someone to ride shotgun with you then Master Sage... that doesn't plug into the cigarette lighter. ~shaking head~
Oh good, you hadn't heard of it either Enigma? Some of those toys were weird, weird, weird.
GingaPaul, I like visiting kink world but my kink world in no WAY resembles the place where most of those toys reside. I had great fun last night trying to describe the gasmask thingy to peeps.
Ewww Naughty! LOL! The mask wasn't the worst of it either. There was this glove... why would someone need a glove that goes up to your shoulder? ~shudder~
Hiyya Sassy and welcome! A friend told me yesterday that there is a Virgin Mary Buttplug too. Yech. I wouldn't want to put Buddha up my butt neither.
Female dogs are just shit outa luck Mike. Please do not make me mentally visit the place where sextoys for female dogs are... ach! I can't get that image out of my head now damn you!
I am sooooo happy to hear that Gaddy! ~wink~
Yay! Welcome to the world of overdosing on Lakota, Paul! ~smooches and sneaking in a butt pinch~
I have worn a gass mask during sex but we had to pretend there was a large dildo attached.
Pretending is good, Ozy.In some cases preferable to reality.
Hopefully it wasn't an elephant dong you wuz imagining like the one pictured. I wouldn't wanna be the woman that fit into.
Talk about the never ending journey.
The most disturbing sex toys ever aren't toys at all. I've seen power tools... and more.
~staring at IP with BIG eyes~
power tools?
like power tools attached to toys (wohoo - look how the eletric drill makes the dildo go round and round) or like fun with chainsaws?
~blech~
Finally something for those with Jesus up the wazoo. And I must say that a cigerette lighter powered cocksuker takes the 'World according to Garp' hazard out of roadhead.
The miraculous but plug should have a halo attached the would stick out so one could bend over, showing the golden aura about their sphincter, and say "kiss my holy ass, MF!"
ROFLMAO!!!!
Or sun rays so it could be proven that the sun really does shine out of his or her ass. I think you need one of them Ozy, cuz in my book the sun rises and sets out of yours. Just saying. ~giggling~
We are doing a job for the Pope in 2 months......
Unfortunatly i cant mention what we are doing for the pope, lets just say that we are helping with the 'hell fire" aspect. I just thought it was a funny synchronicity with the jesus butt plug and all.
Geez Enigma. You get all the coolest jobs. Playing with hellfire. Doesn't get any better than that. Color me envious.
Yes, we get to play with fun things, the next fun thing we may do this week(blowing up a tank) i,ll post, and then delete ,of course.
if i can sneak a video in, i will. it may only be a big dust storm, to blow up a tank takes a long time cutting and weakening it, so it blows up the right way...and these people have a small budget, of course.
yeah, but still. even small booms are kewl and exciting.
So thats what that burning sensation back there was
laughing a lot at that last one, and your comment GRIN.
Abso-fuckin-lutely Master Ozy! It's getting so ridiculous that i'm embarrassed to even comment on your post today. How much worship and drool can one man take? I'm trying to take pity on you, as well as eliminate a modem of reader gagging and eyerolling on your site. Surely they must be thinking "there she goes again with the worshiping". ~wink~
~sigh~ yeah - isn't he just the greatest, Jo? {{staring dreamy-eyed at the monitor while automatically wiping the drool away}}
:P
just so you will noe, there is no limit to the amount of worship and drool I can take.
Well, in that case... i'll stop holding back. ~wink~
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