I've been soooo bad....

i've been so bad that i'm certain i deserve a spanking. Any takers? One condition. I get to spank you back... eventually.
Work is gearing up again... August kicks off the busiest season of the year and usually lasts until October, then lulls for a few weeks (okay, sometimes it skips the lull but i remain optimistic) and kicks back in until the holiday season is over. I'm tired just looking at madness to come. But hey - at least i have work, right?

I hope everyone had a great weekend! While I may have had to work... parts of mine were just divine. :)

Three posts in one day - but you GOTTA hear this

Normally I don't post music here - i dump it over at the Diaries, but since i just loaded one over there today and really want y'all to hear this - you're getting a special treat. Some related trivia: a very close RL friend of mine (he's gay, so guys don't get your panties in a twist) is on tour in Asia with a broadway musical (yeah, i'z bragging on him - he's THAT good). Anyway - suffice to say when he sends me music vids to watch, i always drop whatever i'm doing and comply. He sent this a few minutes ago and omg! are these guys freaking incredible. The ending is pretty funny too. Enjoy... dayum - these doods can sing. Craig Lewis - Brady Bunch.

It's a Barbi-Q!!!!

Some of you may recall my disdain of barbies from the "Diaries." Well, except of course for one kickass native american rebel barbie. A friend just called me and pointed me to this link which has several pages visually documenting a rather festive event. Oh man did i laugh my ass off. I haz evil, twisted sense of humor. Here's a sneak peek...

Something for the ladies

I got these in an email yesterday. They ALMOST bumped Mikey's post. While these are wonderfully funny, yeah, I'd lurv to see a man modeling something like this for me. Hey, creative fashion isn't just for women ya know. So how many of you guys would be daring enough to model one of these for me? Yeah, that's what I thought. :P

He's a breast man

Mikey the Spaz is definitely a boob guy. Loves him some breasts. He's beside himself with joy because several women are posting some boobage for him. So he's asked me to as well. BUT. Since I do like to be somewhat unpredictable, i'm not posting exactly what i suspect Mikey-darling expected. It meets his request of course... but I'm showing off a pretty bra. LOL! Awww come on Mikey - no pouting. You said you wanted cleavage...

Errr... Yum? I don't THINK so.

I'll take a slice of the baby thigh please with my koolaid. O.o

Cake Wrecks Link. The pile of poop one (on the cake blog) made me think of Mikey and Moogi.

I Hatez Them

sonofabitch cellphone providers that manufacture forshit equipment then laugh at you when it breaks less than two months after you buy it. i hatez them. i'm so mad i'm shoving their fucking contract up their slimey asses and paying more to take my account elsewhere... where i will no doubt have to bend over and take it up mine again in a few months. i hatez them all.

Facebook = Funny

I've been building my author network on facebook, which is turning out to be a pretty interesting tool. It's letting me gather together old friends and new, and a few... well, unexpected ones as well. Such as Johnny Depp. Isn't that a hoot? Pffft - I don't care if it is really him or not - it tickled me silly this morning to see him as a "friend."

It's a fabulous tool for promotion I've discovered. One of my longtime friends has released a book today and i was able to do a shout out in one keystroke without depending on everyone i knew to pop by my writing blog and read about it. Sweet.

It also let's me auto-track updates at organizations like writing conventions, book sellers, authors i know - stuff like that. For someone with little (read that as NONE) time management skills, it's HUGE!
Plus i get to attack peoples with my werewolf.
Life is good.

Oh and quickie note regarding comment left yesterday - apparently there may be some confusion regarding my possibly being another blogger, BB or LA. Umm. No. Sorry.
(We sound nothing alike in my opinion... well, we're both smartasses.)
I have this blog, the pretty much dead "Diaries," and my new writing blog/Facebook. That's it.
But we are friends. And do have a penchant for stirring up ALL kinds of hell when let loose together. Hope no one is too disappointed. :P

YES!!! Fuck yeah!

Judge returns gray wolf to endangered-species list
A federal judge in Montana has restored protection to gray wolves in Northern Rockies. They were taken off the endangered-species list March 28 after federal officials said the species — once hunted, poisoned or trapped to the verge of extinction — was "thriving."
The order, by U.S. District Judge Donald Molloy, is expected to halt public hunts being planned by officials in Montana, Wyoming and Idaho.
The National Resources Defense Council claims that 106 gray wolves have been killed in those states in the 118 days since being removed from the list. An estimated 2,000 wolves now live in the Northern Rockies after a decade-long restoration effort. - Posted by Michael Winter at 07:49 PM/ET, July 18, 2008

Someone had mentioned hearing about the relisting at the writers' meeting today and i had to run and look it up to see if the good news was true. I'm a very happy Lakota right now.

To highlight the results of removing them from the endangered list, i found this article by Derek Goldman where he comments:

"It’s been about three months since wolves in the Northern Rockies were removed from the protection of the Endangered Species Act. To date, at least 20 wolves have been reported killed in Wyoming, where they may legally be shot on sight. That’s an average of one wolf killed every four and half days. Five of these wolves were shot in Wyoming during the first weekend after delisting, with local bloggers bragging about their success:
"Word on the street from the town of Cora is they had a hell of a fine weekend wolf hunting -- a town wolf hunt," and "I can speak first hand to the hunting of the wolves. I held two of the dead wolves killed this weekend. I’m one of the "Red Neck Hunters" and proud of it.”
During the first weekend after wolves were delisted, the Casper Star Tribune reported that "large numbers of hunters reportedly prowled the state’s newly designated wolf predator area in Sublette County.” An outfitter boasted he’d hoped to shoot 10 wolves himself.
These wolves weren’t killed by wildlife managers because they’d been eating cows or sheep. They were mostly shot by people for “sport,” their only crime was that of, well, being a wolf. "

So fuck yeah, i'm glad they're protected once more from redneck assholes eager for a little sportin' slaughter.

Gah!

I'll be catching up to all your comments as soon as i can. I'm back into the hellish 24/7 schedule with work which doesn't allow for much in the way of blogging time. Hoping to catchup with y'all sometime tonight or worse case tomorrow, kay?

Meanwhile - this is me at work.

And I got THIS yesterday in an email. Cracked me all the hell up.

Clever. Mmmmm...

Zes-tay.

~giggling~

Alliterative A-Z of Thinking About You:
Absolutely Awesome Anal
Bountiful Badass Bondage
Copiously Creamy Cunt
Deeply Delving Dick
Exquisitely Erotic Ejaculation
Frequent Fantastic Fucking
Glorious Genital Groping
Heavenly Hot Humping
Incredibly Insatiable Insertions
Jouncing Juicy Jugs
Killer Karmic Kisses
Lusty Labia Licking
Magnificent Mutual Masturbation
Nightly Naked Naughtiness
Outstanding Oral Orgasms
Powerfully Penetrating Penis
Quaking Quivering Quim
Really Raunchy Reaming
Slutty Seductive Sucking
Tightened Trembling Testicles
Uncensored Uninhibited Undulating
Vigorously Vibrated Vagina
Wildly Wanton Wetness
X X X-rated
Yummy Youthful Yielding
Zippy Zealous Zest

A break from the heavy lifting

Just because.

:)

The photos have name dedications...just because they made me think of you.

If you didn't get a dedication, it's not that i don't lurv you - i just ran out of time.

Missing the Point... brand... whatevah

This article i read was probably one of the worst written pieces of journalism i've seen in awhile. Either the publication or the writer seemed to focus on all the wrong things, in my humble opinion.
"Demonstrations on the town square show how divided people are over the school board's decision to fire a science teacher accused of preaching his Christian beliefs in the classroom and burning crosses on students' arms. "
While my liberal self would certainly object to a teacher preaching one religion over others in a classroom, i think the whole fucking BURNING CROSSES ON KIDS ARMS kinda makes the teaching thing a distasteful footnote. But in reading the article, the scarification and mutilation of children is barely mentioned while the issue of religious rights takes the main stage. WTF?

"John Freshwater, 52, was fired last month after an outside consulting firm released a report concluding that he taught creationism and was insubordinate in failing to remove a Bible and other religious materials from his classroom at Mount Vernon Middle School.
Some residents consider him a courageous fighter for religious freedom. Others say he has brazenly violated the church-state divide."

The article goes on to talk about a community divided over teaching religion in schools, blah, blah, blah. Uh, where the hell (no pun intended) is the protest about a teacher BRANDING students?

"A much-viewed sign about a mile from town reads: "If the Bible goes, the school board should follow."

Again... WTF? I think the town has its priorities a little screwed up.

"Freshwater likely will be suspended without pay during the appeals process, which could extend into the fall, said David Millstone, the school board's attorney."

He's been suspended. He's not in jail for god's sake? (again no pun intended)

"Officials knew that Freshwater used a science tool to burn images of a cross on students' arms in December, according to findings by outside investigators.
"I think things were just overlooked and overlooked and overlooked and then it just came to a head," said Kelly Montgomery.
...Freshwater told investigators he simply was trying to demonstrate the device on three to eight students and described the images an "X" not a cross. But pictures show the images depict a cross, the report said. "

There are so many things wrong with that last statement and I find it difficult to believe that it was left as mere mention by the reported and didn't incur outrage in the community. Would they have been just as blaise if he had decided to test acid on their skin, or demonstrated the different applications of surgical scapels? What kinda dumbass excuse was that and what kind of dumbasses let it go at that?

The brilliant wrapup to this article:
"When teachers have a contract, they have to follow the state guidelines, and he deliberately went against the guidelines," said Winkle, 57, as she sipped coffee at a cafe near the public square."

Ugh. Just ugh. If you want to read the stupid ass excuse for reporting yourself, go here:
Article

Promised pictures

oh yay monday. to spice up a rather bleary start to the week here are a few visual enticements, including one for the ladies (and Josh) that a friend sent me to drool over. Yummmmmmmm.
Also out in blog world for your viewing pleasure:

• Riffy has his newest installment on his french stripper encounter up today (whoot!)
  PostNote: holy SHIT! do not read Riff's post without either a cold shower or a vibrator handy. Seriously. He melted my keyboard... among other things...
• Gaddy has a fascinating post up about his latest invention: a silver something
• Josh has a fallout of your chair laughing video posted
• and Massa Sage has Sunday erotic photos posted
• Oh yeah, and i have a rather frightfully bad poem (poorly constructed) on my writer blog. A girl has just gotta show her ass every once in awhile, you know? :P

We interrupt our broadcast...

I'm heading over to the SEx blog to flash Lisa Andel for awhile.
If anyone cares to join in, check it out at the SEx blog.
Come on and play or read or bring virtual drinks. Nekkid dancing also encouraged.
Well, by me anyway.
*********
Thanks to everyone who stopped by / lurked/whatevah at Flash fiction yesterday. Gaddy even dropped one in the bucket. Anyone who likes really wild erotica should go check out yesterday's author-hostess Lisa Andel. I've read all her books and if you like extreme sex, you'll love her very creative, uniquely imaginative writings. Just saying. Dead Again is the one that got me hooked on her writings.

Black Thumb Doesn't Hurt Virtual Gardens

Stole this from Kate. It was a somewhat different series of questions which made it interesting.
The results surprised me, though i'm not sure why. Maybe because it was so accurate. The innenet gawds were no doubt thinking to themselves "Dayum, we got us a live one here. Whata freak."

You Are a Nigella
"Many people think you are just a little bit odd, but you consider yourself just a little eccentric. You find new experiences exciting and fulfilling."

I am a Nigella What Flower Are You?

Okay, so it's not a nekkid picture. And I know you're not buying the whole flowers symbolize female genitalia thing right now. I'll post something... meatier.... for you tomorrow. Back to work for me. Now take the damn flower quiz and tell me what flower you are so i can find a spot for you in my garden. I swear I'll hire a gardener so my black thumb doesn't kill ya off.

Oh, and anyone applying for the position of MY gardener please whip off your shirt, douse yourself in water and show me your qualifications. The fringe benefits will be worth the interview. Promise. ~grin~

Ashes and Dust

I'll be away from here for a few days. Death in the family. Tick tock and suddenly the clock sounds louder. ~sigh~
Y'all be good or at least have loads of fun being bad.
~smooches and all that~
Lakota


**Addendum***
for those of you sweating it out with me, i wanted to let you know my AC was repaired FINALLY late yesterday. Going without air conditioning for a week in 100 degree weather and high humidity - not recommended.

Worth a Thousands Words... or not.

For some reason this one makes me think of Moogi and Mikey...

Where will you be when explosive diarriah strikes!
Craptions for this photo

Run, forest, run!
More Craptions

No one's buying it, Mexibot. You're still getting deported.
Craptions for this photo

I swear to God, I will never go into a sex shop in Europe again.
Craptions for this photo

"Cookies and milk my ass, bitch. I want some fuckin pussey!!!" said Santa with glee.
Craptions for this photo

So what would your caption be for one of these?

Have a good day everyone.
And no, no air conditioning yet. Broken part on order. meh.

~smooches~

Grousing

The blogworld is just too fucking small sometimes. Just saying.

Storm last night cooled things off, which was nice. But took out internet and power - not so nice.

But I'd rather be sitting in the dark in relative comfort than sitting in the light thoroughly tormented. And yeah, I realize there some potential symbolic interpretation to that statement.

I'm more of a shadows type girl anyway so i'm okay with that.

For your entertainment and viewing pleasure and because i'm feeling kinda assy... (can't remember if i've posted this one yet or not, if so... enjoy the flashback)

Meaningless Babble from the Pits of Hell

I'm wearing my bitch mask today. And that's all I'm wearing. Being hot and sweaty means everything revolves around lack of comfort. And I don't even have the gratification of being hot and sweaty due to anything fun, like sex. Just a broken air conditioner. Damn it. And of course the city is closed down for the holiday.
I have an entirely new appreciation for deodorant.
And cold showers.
And icecream.

But i can't live in the shower and eat icecream all day.
(No, really I can't!)
It's too hot to even write. That's just sad.
Also I'm feeling like a bit of a moron. Like I'm out of synct (however the fuck you spell that) with the rest of the world. Conversations that leave me feeling like i'm slow-witted. Reading jokes that just don't fucking sound funny. That kind of thing. Trying to come up with responses that are either witty or insightful and falling not just on my ass but on my face as well. ~sigh~
Being hot shouldn't be an excuse for being a 'tard.

On the brightside of things, Rikkitikki is a new daddy. That was pretty damn cool.
He sent a lovely photo of his daughter and wife and has some posted on his blog if you wanna pop over to congratulate him. Okay, that was as cheery as i get today.

I think I need to vent by setting something on fire. Any suggestions?

I've just discovered that eating ice cold watermelon while naked also helps cool ya off. I have sticky breasts now but it was a small price to pay. mmmm.... watermelon......

Happy 4th Partying

Hope you're out having fun!
Toss back a drink for me woulda ya?

I never knew you but i wish i had

Feeling a little teary and sad. For someone I never met, never chatted with. never even knew existed. A lurker who never spoke up and now never will. I stumbled on technatori tonight, ran my blog thru it and discovered a blog linked to mine, belonging to a man i'd never heard of. A Mister Winston Rand.

He died a few days ago. His wife was kind enough to post a goodbye post.
Even though he was quiet and didn't jump into our conversations, I have to assume he enjoyed his forays into Lakota Land since he put a link on his blog to it. I do hope i made him smile.
From what i hear, WINSTON RAND…HE WAS A PRETTY GOOD GUY.

Blessed Be Mr. Rand.
Lakota Phillips

Things annoying the fuck outa me...

You ever have days where little things just pile on and pile on until you feel like a maniacal bitch/bastard? I know, everyone thinks I'm all sweetness and sugar even though I keep telling y'all that I'm a cunty bitch. I'm kinda growly today. These are some of the things annoying the bloody fuck outa me...

• Spending $80 to fill my tank yesterday
• Spending $100 last weekend to buy perfume that cost $60 last year
• Fuckhead BBC leaving insults about me on other people' blogs - not that i care what he thinks about me but damn that's just plain rude
• Hellbitch Hillary
• Pedofile assholes who should have their dicks cut off with a spoon
• People who reschedule photoshoots for the third fucking time and still aren't ready when I arrive. If they don't have it ready friday I'm going to tell them where to stick their job.
• Poking my eye out with my mascara wand
• All politicans right now
• Blogging friends who vanish without saying goodbye so I don't know if they've been killed or just tossed in the towel. Oh nevermind that I've done the same thing before, that's different. Really. (I'm not talking to you guys that emailed me to tell me you're okay, just not blogging for awhile. YOU I still lurv.)

Okay... to balance all those things irritating me, I'll tell you somethings that delighted me this morning:

• The hidden clickable photo on Sage's blog. ~heh~ Only the women will appreciate it. Dayum, Massa Sage... that surprise made my day.
• The comments on yesterday's post ~still laughing over those~
• All of you... you just make me smile. Thanks for that.

You tell meme

Arkay sweetie bitchslapped me with a meme. Those of you who have known me for awhile know that i live to fuck with memes. Okay, not really. I'd just as soon ignore them, but since I adore Arkay, I decided to once again collapse under peer pressure... but with my own twist.

In exchange for the photos you see below (requested by Redneck Rob) I'm tasking you all with writing a six word memoir about me. I thought up one for myself, but really it's much more enlightening (and fun) to see what you would come up with. If you need rules (which i'm sure none of you who hang here really do) you can get them over at Arkay's or see a sample over at Gaddylicious. (His memoir kicked ass)

Was this what you wished for Rob...

or this...