Since when did i become so goddamn noble?The only person making me suffer is me.
Who am i to try and play god and decide what is right and wrong for someone else?
It's absurd.
fuck it.
i'm nobody's keeper.
not even to keep someone from crashing against the chaos that is me. i'm such a dumbass.
I'll be throwing these fucking doors back open... in the next day or two.
When I get done banging my head against the wall for being stoopid.
Get ready... you ain't never seen nothing like a Lakota that is pissed at herself.
(okay, well maybe you have if you've been around since the beginning...
how many blogs will i get banned from this time...)
12 comments:
I have been around from the beggining...and i have found that being someones elses keeper really doesnt work, and ends up messy, and everyone gets hurt, and we are the only people that make us suffer.But beating yourself up over what you think you(or anyone else) has done doesnt help.We all want to be loved...it all boils down to that.
And try and be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend.
ah, so you've seen how bad i can be, Enigma-dear. ~sigh~
some of us don't deserve to be loved. simple as that. and i don't mean that tritely. just a fact of life.
anyhoo... well see what wacky things i come up with to disperse my anxiety this time. no more orgies though.
yeah, it does REH. ~sigh~
though I'm feeling very remorseful right now. I didn't know so many people would get upset if I disappeared.
When I talk about showing my ass all the time I assume everyone understands that means more than just physcially showing my ass all the time. I'm a drama queen, a brat (sniffle), a troublemaker and sometimes ridiculously insecure which is only hazardous when it collides with my temper or drama moments. Pffft.
I really should do you all a favor and stop inflicting my idiocies on you.
~yeah, i'm still sulky and mad at myself~
Oh for goodness sake..theres enough bad in the best of us,and enough good in the worst of us, not to judge yourself so harshly...and this comes from a virgo, we are the queens of harsh self judgement.And petal, there is not one thing on the face of this planet that isnt deserving of love...take away the judgements, and thats all that is left.*waggling finger at LP* So thats the end of big sister lecture.
Hey, god knows sometimes you just have to punch through the walls.
Then the next day you have to go to the hardware store for some sheets of drywall, tape, bedding mud-spackle and paint to fix what you fucked up in your fit of pique.
BTDT
*big giant, life-reaffirming hugs*
I aint sure what happened
and I have only been here a short time but I'm glad ur not gone.
yes'm Enigma... but i really do deserve a swift kick in the ass this time. for real.
though maybe you're right... i thought i'd caused someone pain but apparently it was delusions in my own head. Silly me. I hate it when I don't have a real grasp on things. so what the fuck. i redrawn the circle of my boundaries and no one comes any closer than that.
Thanks Gaddy-love... i need that hug right about now.
Smooches to you Master Sage. Yeah, like a bad penny...
Atta girl.
seems you're well on your way!
"the only one making me suffer..."
"dumbass." "contrite." surely you have better adjectives?
Thanks Creepalicious.
James, I was gonna use Lakota Cunt but figured I'd save that for the next time I stir up trouble and excitement and hate and discontent.
Can't use up all the good stuff at once.
Were you missing me too much, darling?
I thought that shit was done for you! Hope you are feeling better!
new day, different shit Jilly. Wasn't mr. flaky this time driving me off. Just my own poor judgement apparently. :(
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